Beyond Fibroids: Personal Story & Life Lessons

They Said My Womb Wasn't Healed

Valerie-Yamina Bey — Sun, 12 Apr 2026 14:15:42 GMT

I usually keep my personal life... well, personal. I’m a private womb-man by nature. I don’t like airing any dirty laundry in public. But I’ve realised it is important for you to know how I got here and, more importantly, why I do what I do.

I’m sharing this today because of an experience that acted as a mirror I wasn’t ready to look into.

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I was part of a health and wellbeing group, a space that, on the surface, should have been supportive. I ended up leaving because the energy simply didn’t align with mine, but before I left, something happened. I responded to a post about a young African lady marrying a wealthy, much older man. My response focused on the legacy aspect, speculating about prenups and the importance of her not spending unwisely so she could build long-term wealth.

Looking back, I could have said what I said differently. Even though I corrected myself in the thread, the backlash was deep. Women began checking out my profile and coming back with a phrase that stopped me in my tracks: “Her womb ain’t healed.”

That stung.

I mean…

Really stung.

It was a cold, hard reminder that I still have work to do.

The Myth of the Healed Destination

When you do this kind of work, people expect you to have your life wrapped up in a neat little bow. They think healing is a destination, a place called Nirvana where you check in and never leave.

If only!

Healing is a process of unlearning layers upon layers of conditioning passed down through generations. It means recognising the subconscious behaviours and limiting beliefs, especially around money and self-worth, and addressing them with the same seriousness the same way you would deal with a poor diet.

Learning to remain poised when I would normally react takes a tremendous amount of inner strength. Honestly, I probably burn a thousand calories just reminding myself to keep my cool! It just goes to show how important nutrition is; you need the literal energy to maintain your peace! This experience taught me that I’ll never be done healing. It is a lifetime commitment.

The Question I Always Get

So, have you got rid of your fibroids?

No, I haven’t.

There is nothing I’d love more. But I’ve had two surgeries, and not all of my fibroids were removed, which, frankly, annoyed the hell out of me. They were discovered, not diagnosed, in my thirties. Which means I was carrying them for years before that. We’re talking about something that developed over two to three decades. How can I realistically expect to undo that in a few months? Come on now… let’s be real. That said, my focus shifted from fighting my fibroids to something far more interesting.

Beyond the Bleeding

After my second surgery, I made a pact with my body. I told her to send a message to my fibroids: You can stay, but only if we work together. No more excessive bleeding. That’s over.

That was my focus. Stop the haemorrhaging. Live my life.

But what started as a mission to stop heavy bleeding became something else entirely - a deep, cellular purge that got louder before it got quieter. The inner noise intensified. I thought I was losing my mind. But on the other side of that cleansing, I found her. The woman, buried under years of low self-worth and self-loathing.

For years I carried a dark cloud over my head, the cartoon kind that follows you everywhere. I grew up believing I was less than. I lived almost entirely in my masculine energy: in my attitude, my posture, the invisible armour I wore without even knowing it. My feminine side was screaming to be let out. I ignored her for most of my life. The truth is, I didn’t even know what being feminine meant.

What This Was Really About

We are often told that changing our diet or taking a few herbs is enough. It isn’t.

So much has been taken from us: identity, culture, spirituality, language, our very names. And yet here we are, trying to heal while still measuring ourselves against Western standards of health and beauty, whilst living in a toxic soup of negativity and overt oppression. That will never work. It’s why so many of our sisters end up losing their wombs entirely: because they are trying to fix a spiritual wound with physical solutions.

Real healing starts with clearing the body so the mind can think straight. It means reconnecting with what you already carry: the knowledge that lives in your cells, older than anything a clinic can offer you.

Does This Mean Natural Healing Doesn’t Work?

No.

Personally, I no longer wanted to continue fighting with my fibroids, and my ultrasound shows some were calcified.

What this journey showed me, and what I can 100% guarantee - is that dealing with fibroids, for many women will take more than switching to a plant based diet, herbal teas, yoni steams, and castor oil packs.

If your body made them, then it is possible your body can break them down, but its going to require a tailored, systematic approach, rather then just throwing random 'stuff’ at them. Fibroids are the results of a body that has been struggling for years, and now needs some serious TLC, so the approach you take must be bespoke to what is actually taking place. That will be your baseline from which you track progress.

This is what you are probably dealing with:

→ Years of oestrogen dominance

→ Impaired Liver detoxification

→ Chronic inflammation

→ Toxin Exposure

→ Gut dysfunction

When you see it like this, its very clear why none of your previous approaches worked. You didn’t do anything wrong. No one told you what is really going on.

The Journey Continues

So no, I ain’t healed in the way the world defines it. But I am so much further along the path.

What began as a mission to stop bleeding became a fight to find myself. To reclaim my femininity. To become the woman who doesn’t shrink. That’s why I do this work. In my world, fibroids are never just a medical condition. They are a doorway. And I intend to walk through mine, fully, unapologetically, and without waiting until I’m perfect to say so.

If this resonates, you are in the right place.

If you loved this, you’ll really love these:

• Why Standard Blood Tests Fall Short: And how to finally get answers

• Hormones Control More of Your Health Than You Realise

• Healing Your Womb. What it really involves

Disclaimer

This space is where I teach the real truths about fibroids, womb health, and healing: the things women are never told. Stay connected as I continue to share the frameworks, insights, and root‑cause teachings that shape my work.

This article is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read in this article.

I am not a medical professional, and the information shared here is based on personal experiences, two decades of knowledge on working on myself, the many brilliant teachers who have taught me everything I know; but most of all and the most important is the insights from my clients. Always consult with a healthcare professional before making any changes to your health regimen or starting a new treatment plan.

Your health and well-being are unique to you, and it’s important to take a tailored approach under the guidance of a qualified expert.

The Silent Boardroom: When Your Body Becomes Your Most Demanding Client

Valerie-Yamina Bey — Sun, 22 Mar 2026 15:15:42 GMT

We need to talk about the thing we’ve been taught to hide behind sharp blazers and back-to-back Zoom calls. It’s the heavy, dull ache that sets in just before a major presentation. It’s the mental gymnastics of planning your calendar around a cycle that has become increasingly unpredictable. It’s the exhaustion that no amount of high-end espresso or wellness retreats seems to touch.

For many of us: women who are used to being in the driver’s seat of our careers, our families, and our finances, fibroids are the uninvited guests that slowly, quietly, begin to run the show. We are the high achievers, the fixers, the ones who pride ourselves on our resilience. Yet, when it comes to our own wombs, we often find ourselves suffering in a very expensive kind of silence.

The Data Behind the Discomfort

If you feel like you’re fighting a lone battle, the numbers suggest otherwise. The 2022 UK Let’s Talk About It survey, a landmark piece of research into women’s health, revealed a staggering reality. Out of nearly 100,000 respondents, a heart-breaking 84% reported that they had been dismissed by healthcare professionals at some point in their journey.

In any other sector such as finance, law or tech, an 84% failure rate in client satisfaction would be a national scandal. Yet, in the consulting rooms of some of the most prestigious clinics, women are still being told their debilitating symptoms are ‘just part of being a woman.’ For those of us with fibroids, this dismissal often leads to a diagnostic delay that can span years. We spend our 30s and 40s pushing through, unaware that the benign growths in our myometrium are the root cause of the fatigue and brain fog we’ve been blaming on our workload.

The Professional Price of Pushing Through

In our world, productivity is a currency. But fibroids are a thief. The survey data shows that 76% of women reported increased stress levels at work due to their health conditions, and 25% felt it directly impacted their opportunities for promotion.

Consider the partner at a top firm, accustomed to 14-hour days. During her heavy days, she’s terrified of flooding during a board meeting. She carries a spare change of clothes in her designer tote as a survival tactic. She’s on during the day, but by 6 PM, she’s physically and emotionally spent, her iron levels so low she can barely navigate the stairs to her bedroom. This is a professional liability that we’ve been conditioned to ignore. We use our financial resources to buy time, hiring more help, outsourcing the domestic, but we can’t outsource the physical toll of chronic anaemia and pelvic pressure.

When Support Becomes Sabotage

Valerie-Yamina Bey — Sun, 18 May 2025 14:15:34 GMT

Let me get real for a minute.

There’s a huge difference between having support and being misled by noise.

And right now, in the age of online support groups, free challenges, and everyone’s-a-coach energy, women are drowning in advice. Especially when it comes to dealing with fibroids and womb-related issues.

Support is powerful.
Sisterhood, encouragement, a safe space and a circle of women who just get it.
We need that. We crave that.

But don’t confuse that with someone who’s qualified to guide you in your healing journey.

Because here’s what’s actually happening…

You post in a group:

“I’ve been bleeding heavily for 12 days straight. I have fibroids. Anyone experience this before?”
Within minutes, 38 comments flood in:

“Drink beet juice!”
“Try steaming with mugwort!”
“You need to go raw vegan immediately.”
“No, just take DIM and you’ll be fine.”
“My aunt took castor oil and hers disappeared overnight.”

Confusing? Absolutely.
Dangerous? Sometimes, yes.

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This is not what I call helpful advice!

Too many women are taking protocol-level recommendations from unqualified people who have no idea about your health or background.

You wouldn’t let your best friend do surgery on you because she watched a couple of YouTube tutorials would you?

So why are you following well meaning advice from someone who has no understanding of bio-individuality, root cause assessment, trauma, body systems, or even how to properly detox?

Let me be very blunt.
Support should hold you, not hijack you.

Because here’s what I see with my private clients (the ones who’ve tried all the advice first):

Burnt out adrenals from supplement overload.
Hormonal chaos from mixing detoxes without guidance.
Emotional whiplash from jumping from one “miracle” remedy to another.
Shame and guilt when they “fail” at a protocol that was never right for them in the first place.

Is this healing? Nope! It's what I call hustling for hope.

And here’s the biggest thing…most of those “tips” do work…

But only when done in line with your unique body, along with a strategic framework that addresses you as a whole living breathing person: physical, emotional, energetic, and spiritual.

Otherwise? You’re just guessing.
Throwing darts in the dark.
And calling it healing.

So what do you do instead?

Get real guidance from someone who’s walked the path and studied how all body systems work, and in turn help you help yourself.
Choose support that doesn’t just say “you’ve got this” but actually gives you strategy and holds you accountable.
Stop crowd-sourcing your health and start leading it from within, with the right guidance around you.

I say this with love, but your womb is not a group project.

You don’t need another checklist. You need clarity.
You don't need another tip. You need a personalised healing blueprint.

The kind of healing that changes your health and your beliefs about what is possible.
It's a good reminder that you are not broken. Instead, you are becoming.
But you can’t do that when you are constantly running around in circles trying this, that and the other because this person or that person said so.

So next time someone offers advice, ask yourself:

Is this support… or is it sabotage?

And if you’re ready for support that’s rooted, high-frequency, and built on actual results then you already know what to do.

#ThisIsYourWakeUpCall

If this resonated, here are three powerful articles to explore next:

• The Biochemical Differences That Shape Our Health and Healing Approaches

• The Womb, Divinity, and the Silent Disconnection

• How Our Beliefs Keep Us from Owning Our Health and Our Destiny

3 Key Life Lessons

Valerie-Yamina Bey — Sun, 16 Feb 2025 15:15:54 GMT

Today, I thought I would share about my own personal struggles. Like many, I too have my down times, and this last year has been one of the worst. Let me tell you why…

Having recently been thrust into a full-time caregiving role, I’ve found myself with little to no time to work on or in my business. I’ve quite literally had to put my life on hold. We often hear stories of people caring for their loved ones, but until you experience it first-hand, you can never truly grasp the full extent of the impact it has on your life.

The freedom to do what I want, when I want, has completely disappeared. As someone who values health and well-being above all else, this shift has taken a massive toll on me, physically, mentally, and emotionally. This is something I’ve never shared before, but the past year has been the most challenging of my life. Watching three family members be admitted to the hospital within the span of a year due to the effects of unresolved emotions has been eye-opening, to say the least.

Only now, with the knowledge I’ve gained, can I truly see how unprocessed emotions wreak havoc on the body. And only by addressing these emotions can true healing begin. I’ve tried to help as much as I can, but I’ve come to accept that true healing requires inner work. If someone is unwilling to embark on that journey, there is only so much I can do for them.

I won’t lie, I am frustrated and angry. I feel like my life is on hold. I can no longer pursue my passions freely, and I am pretty much housebound. But I also recognise that I need to process these emotions because I can already see the toll this stress is taking on me through my scan reports. The lack of sleep, the constant busyness, the endless cycle of doing everything with little respite or support, it’s unsustainable. No one can burn the candle at both ends and expect to come out unscathed.

Yet, despite the difficulties, the past few weeks have offered me invaluable lessons, particularly about how wealthy people operate.

So what has that got to do with anything you might ask? Well, let me share that with you right now:

1. The Importance of a Support Network
With everyone tied up in their jobs, I was the one who had to give up my purpose to become a full-time caregiver. Again, I always knew care work was hard, but wow, I had no idea just how gruelling and relentless it really is, especially when the person you’re caring for is highly demanding and overbearing. When most family members work full-time, who do I have to rely on? This has forced me to become resourceful and seek support beyond my immediate family.

This experience has also made me reflect on how differently things might be if we operated like a wealthy family. Imagine if all of us worked within a family business, we could take care of each other without the constant worry of needing time off work. We’d have the resources to manage responsibilities seamlessly. Generational wealth creates options, while poverty only breeds limitations.

If this resonated, here are three powerful articles to explore next:

Breaking Free from Learned Helplessness

Valerie-Yamina Bey — Sun, 06 Oct 2024 08:02:05 GMT

Learned helplessness is a concept that many women facing chronic health conditions like fibroids or Endometriosis may relate to, even without knowing the term itself. It refers to the feeling of powerlessness that arises when a person believes that they cannot change their circumstances, even when they have the ability to do so. This state of helplessness often forms when someone has repeatedly faced obstacles or dismissals, leading them to give up trying to make a change. For women, this phenomenon can take a heavy toll; physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.

What is Learned Helplessness exactly?

The concept of learned helplessness emerged in the 1960s, through the work of psychologists Martin Seligman and Steven Maier. They found that after facing unavoidable challenges, people stop trying to overcome them, even when a solution becomes possible. They simply accept their fate. This dynamic is especially evident in women with chronic uterine conditions, who are repeatedly exposed to situations where their voices, needs, or pain are ignored, eventually leading them to feel powerless when it comes to their health.

The Experience of Women with Fibroids

Imagine visiting doctor after doctor, only to be told that your symptoms are "normal" or that "it’s just part of being a woman." Imagine your pain being dismissed or minimised because it's not visible. This is the reality for many women...being told their symptoms are exaggerated, that there's no effective solution beyond drastic measures like surgery, or that their heavy bleeding and debilitating pain are simply part of life.

When a woman constantly faces dismissal or feels unheard, a deep sense of helplessness can set in. For women with fibroids, this means:

- Physically, the body continues to suffer. Fibroids can cause severe bleeding, pain, and fatigue, and when left untreated, the body’s overall vitality declines. A lack of support or resources for proper treatment means the condition often worsens.

- Emotionally, this helplessness breeds frustration, sadness, and even despair. It’s common for women to feel as though they are failing themselves or their loved ones, which may lead to self-blame.

- Mentally, the belief that "nothing will change" becomes ingrained. It becomes difficult to seek out new information or believe in the possibility of healing because past experiences have proven disheartening.

- Spiritually, a sense of disconnect can take root. Spirituality often thrives on the belief that one is supported, that one’s voice matters, and that there is a higher purpose guiding us. When a woman feels like her suffering is ignored, it can be deeply disempowering, disconnecting her from her sense of inner strength and divine wisdom.

A Path Toward Empowerment

Thankfully, learned helplessness isn’t a permanent state. Women can break free from this cycle, rediscover their voices, and take charge of their healing journey. There are powerful ways to step back into one’s power and shift from helplessness to empowerment.

Unlock Your Feminine Power

First, it's important to acknowledge and honour the creative, intuitive energy that lies within each of us. Women have a unique capacity for nurturing, for receiving support, and for deeply connecting with others. When facing health challenges, it's easy to disconnect from this power, but true transformation begins with reclaiming it. Tuning into your innate ability to create change and inviting in the support you deserve can turn helplessness into hope.

Rewrite Your Story

Another key aspect of overcoming helplessness is recognising the connection between our thoughts, emotions, and physical health. Often, we are unaware of how our internal stories influence our well-being. The stories we tell ourselves, such as "I can't heal," or "This is just how it has to be" can manifest in our physical bodies as prolonged symptoms or worsening conditions. To break this pattern, it's crucial to rewrite the narrative. Instead of focusing on limitations, embrace the idea that your body has an incredible ability to heal and that you are worthy of experiencing full health.

Listen to Your Body's Whispers

Our bodies are constantly communicating with us. Pain, discomfort, and even the presence of fibroids are signals, not enemies. These symptoms are pointing to areas in life that need more attention, care, and nurturing. Instead of pushing the pain away or ignoring it, take time to listen to it with compassion. Ask yourself what your body needs, whether it's more rest, more joyful movement, or deeper emotional expression. By approaching symptoms as messages rather than obstacles, you can begin to transform your relationship with your body.

Reclaiming Your Health, Life, and Destiny

It's important for every woman dealing with fibroids to know that her experience is valid, her voice matters, and her body is deserving of care and compassion. Breaking free from learned helplessness involves taking small yet powerful steps: seeking out information, demanding better care, and tuning in to one’s own wisdom. It means believing that healing is not only possible but within reach.

You have the power to rise above helplessness and reclaim your health, your life, and your destiny. By embracing your innate power, rewriting your story, and truly listening to your body, you can become an active participant in your healing journey. Remember: there is always a path forward, even if it starts with a single, small step.

Why Women Ignore Their Gut Instinct

Valerie-Yamina Bey — Sun, 16 Jun 2024 19:22:57 GMT

Gut instinct, often described as an intuitive feeling or inner guidance, plays a vital role in decision-making. However, many women tend to ignore this powerful inner voice. This phenomenon can be attributed to psychological factors and societal pressures. In this post, we will explore why women often overlook their gut instincts, using psychological research and real-life examples to shed light on this critical issue.

The Psychology

Social Conditioning and Gender Roles

From a young age, girls are often socialised to be polite, accommodating, and compliant. This social conditioning can lead to a diminished trust in their own judgment and instincts. Research has shown that women are more likely to seek external validation and approval, making them more susceptible to ignoring their gut feelings in favour of others' opinions.

The Impact of Self-Doubt and Low Self-Esteem

Self-doubt and low self-esteem are significant psychological barriers that can prevent women from trusting their intuition. Studies have indicated that women, more than men, tend to underestimate their abilities and second-guess their decisions. This lack of confidence can lead them to disregard their gut instincts, even when they strongly feel something is amiss.

Fear of Conflict and Desire for Harmony

Many women prioritise maintaining harmony in relationships, whether personal and/ or professional. The fear of conflict or confrontation can lead them to suppress their gut feelings to avoid rocking the boat. This tendency is particularly evident in situations where women feel pressured to conform to expectations or when their instincts contradict authoritative advice.

Societal Pressures and External Influences

The Influence of Authority Figures

Women are often encouraged to trust authority figures such as doctors, employers, or family members. When their gut instincts clash with the advice of these perceived experts, women may feel compelled to ignore their inner guidance. This deference to authority can be especially detrimental in critical decision-making scenarios.

Cultural Expectations and Norms

Cultural norms and expectations play a significant role in shaping behaviour. In many cultures, women are expected to prioritise others' needs over their own. This cultural conditioning can lead women to silence their gut feelings, perceiving them as selfish or inappropriate.

The Real Consequences of Ignoring Gut Instincts

A Real-Life Example

Consider the story of a woman in Spain who faced immense pressure from her doctors and family to undergo a hysterectomy. Despite her gut instincts telling her not to proceed, she felt compelled to conform to their advice. Tragically, the aftermath of the surgery left her in such despair that she is now contemplating taking her own life. She has 3 young children. This heart-wrenching case underscores the critical importance of listening to one's inner guidance.

It's important to emphasise that this extreme outcome is not common, and not all women who ignore their gut instincts will face such dire consequences. However, this story serves as a powerful reminder of the potential repercussions of dismissing one's intuition.

Trusting Your Inner Voice

Empowerment Through Self-Trust

Trusting one's gut instincts can lead to greater empowerment and self-confidence. By validating their inner feelings, women can make decisions that align more closely with their true desires and values. This self-trust promotes a stronger sense of autonomy and personal agency.

Improved Decision-Making

Listening to gut instincts can enhance decision-making processes. Intuition is often based on subconscious pattern recognition, drawing from a wealth of past experiences and knowledge. By integrating this intuitive insight with rational analysis, women can make more more strategic and better balanced choices.

Enhancing Mental and Emotional Well-Being

Acknowledging and acting on gut feelings can improve mental and emotional well-being. Suppressing intuition can lead to feelings of frustration, helplessness, and worst of all, regret. In contrast, honouring one's inner voice promotes a sense of authenticity and inner peace.

Women often ignore their gut instincts due to a combination of psychological factors and societal pressures. By understanding the underlying reasons and recognising the importance of intuition, women can reclaim their inner guidance and make decisions that truly resonate with their true selves. The sad story of the woman in Spain serves as a stark reminder of the potential consequences of disregarding one's intuition. Trusting and valuing one’s gut instincts is essential for well-being and empowerment.

The way I approach this is unique in that I not only guide my clients towards achieving physical health and well-being but also help them release pre-conditioned notions and expectations, which in turn helps them feel confident in making decisions based on what their ‘gut’ is telling them. This ensures they remain strong and resilient even under pressure or in the face of unpopularity. Often, it works in our favour to tune out external opinions and instead, listen to one's own instincts.